Top Rick and Morty Quotes

Glip Glops

Rick: “It’s like the N word and the C word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.”

Rick’s View on Love

Rick: “Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science”

Weddings

Rick: “Weddings are basically funerals with cake.”

Grandpa’s Favorite

Rick “All right, all right, cool it! I see what’s happening here. You’re both young, you’re both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa’s favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen—I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa’s concerned, you’re both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.”

Hitler Cured Cancer

Rick: “What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is: Don’t think about it.”

Just Killed My Family

Morty: “I just killed my family! I don’t care who they were!”
Rick: “I dunno, some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough.”

Your Whole Life Ahead of You

Rick: “You’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut yet malleable.”

Pop-Tarts

Morty: “I mean, why would a Pop-Tart want to live inside a toaster, Rick? I mean, that would be like the scariest place for them to live. You know what I mean?”
Rick: “You’re missing the point Morty. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? No.”

Shotgun Penis

Jerry: “I wish that shotgun was my penis.”
Beth: “If it was, you could call me Ernest Hemingway.”

Pickle Rick

Rick: “I turned myself into a pickle. I’m Pickle Riiiiick”

Hot Girls

Beth: “He’s not a hot girl. He can’t just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else’s.”

Monument to Compromise

Rick: “Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan!! They’re inside you building a monument to compromise!! Fuck them. Fuck those people. Fuck this whole thing Ethan.”

Cronenberged Up the Whole Place

Rick: “Wow, I really Cronenberged up the whole place, huh Morty? Just a bunch a Cronenbergs walkin’ around.”

On School: “It’s Not A Place For Smart People.”

Rick’s thoughts on education, revealed in a conversation with his son-in-law Jerry, aren’t exactly full of admiration.School, Rick says, is a “Bunch of people running around bumping into each other, got a guy up front says, ‘2 + 2,’ and the people in the back say, ‘4.’ Then the bell rings and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it’s not a place for smart people, Jerry. I know that’s not a popular opinion, but that’s my two cents on the issue.”

“Sometimes Science Is More Art Than Science.”

This observation from Rick in “Rick Potion #9” makes you wish you were a scientist so you could fully appreciate it. Even without an advanced science degree, though, this makes a lot of sense. 

When he adds, “A lot of people don’t get that,” it’s pretty clear Rick’s commenting on how we laypersons often to look to science for clear-cut answers, not a complex way of thinking about and responding to the mysteries of the universe.

“It’s Your Choice To Take This Personally.”

In “Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind,” Morty discovers that his grandpa doesn’t hang out with him because they’re pals, but because his brain waves emit a kind of camouflage, keeping Rick safe from parallel dimensional threats.

The teenager is upset, but Rick points out that Morty has the ability to control his reaction and his emotions with this weirdly empowering insight.

“Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!”

The catchphrase Rick shouts when he’s looking to get riggety-riggety wrecked sounds like a simple party animal’s motto. It turns out, however, that this catchphrase actually means, “I am in great pain. Please help me.” If that’s not a pointed comment on the psychology of hard partying addicts, what is?

“Don’t Think About It.”

Rick’s elegantly simple solution for coping with the mind-boggling complexity and scale of infinite parallel dimensions in which everything that could happen has happened. Specifically, this is his answer to the question, “What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer?”

It’s also a repeated bit of advice that works in plenty of overwhelming situations. Running from aliens with laser guns, for example.

“Love Is Just A Chemical Reaction…”

When Rick takes a long view on love, it sounds like this: “What people call ‘love’ is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are going to do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”As with all of Rick’s insights, this one sounds sort of terrible and cynical at first, but in urging Morty to break the cycle, Rick reveals a hopeful side. His heart may have been shellacked by love, but the same fate doesn’t need to befall his grandson.

“I Thought The Whole Point Of Having A Dog Was To Feel Superior.”

Obviously, humans love dogs because they’re adorable, caring, endlessly endearing little creatures that we can pet, cuddle with, and laugh at. That’s all true, but with one offhanded comment in “Lawnmower Dog,” Rick cuts right to the heart of our more narcissistic reasons for keeping domesticated animals as our well-fed prisoners.

“There’s Always Another Pawn Shop.”

One part insult to a pawn shop owner, one part truism about the nature of capitalism. It’s Rick’s economic version of, “there’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

“…That’s How We Grow As People.”

With one uninterrupted quote in the pilot episode, Rick shares some surprisingly helpful thoughts on growing up. Morty’s overwhelmed, as anyone would be when visiting an alien world, but Rick walks him through it, saying, “Alright, alright, calm down. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You looking around and it’s all scary and different, but y’know, meeting them head-on, charging into ’em like a bull – that’s how we grow as people. I’m no stranger to scary situations, I deal with them all the time.”When a horrifying monster suddenly interrupts his speech, Rick then teaches his grandson about self preservation, shouting, “Holy crap, Morty, run! Run for your life, Morty, run!” From this, we can gather that all the philosophical points on this list are secondary to survival, a fine lesson unto itself.

“Existence Is Pain!”

Meeseeks are simple creatures of Rick’s invention who materialize at the push of a button to help complete a single simple task, then disappear. When confronted with an unsolvable problem, however, the Meeseeks can’t disappear, and they then spiral into depression, frustration, and, ultimately, homicidal insanity. Their lack of usefulness turns their lives into ongoing ordeals they’re unable to handle.

It’s basically a metaphor for a life without purpose, folks.

“Nobody Exists On Purpose. Nobody Belongs Anywhere.”

In “Rixty Minutes,” when Morty tells his sister Summer, “Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die… Come watch TV,” it’s not the bleak surrender it sounds like. Instead, it’s an existential philosophy articulated with surprising clarity and concision. Morty, who is effectively living a lie in a parallel dimension, knows better than most just how absurd and indifferent the universe can be.

In these short, brutal lives, he argues, all we can really do is find joy in the simple things. Like television. Like Rick and Morty.