Top 100+ Princess Bride Quotes by William Goldman

1

The Princess Bride

“There have been five great kisses since 1642 B.C. when Saul and Delilah Korn’s inadvertent discovery swept across Western civilization. (Before then couples hooked thumbs.) And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy, because although everyone agrees with the formula of affection times purity times intensity times duration, no one has ever been completely satisfied with how much weight each element should receive. But on any system, there are five that everyone agrees deserve full marks. Well, this one left them all behind.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

2

The Princess Bride

“You mock my pain! Life is pain, anyone who says otherwise is obviously selling something!” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

3

The Princess Bride

“When I was your age, television was called books.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

4

The Princess Bride

“Life isn’t fair, it’s just fairer than death, that’s all.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

5

The Princess Bride

“Just because you’re beautiful and perfect, it’s made you conceited.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

6

The Princess Bride

“Inconceivable!”
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

7

The Princess Bride

“My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

8

The Princess Bride

“Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

9

The Princess Bride

“Who says life is fair, where is that written?” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

10

The Princess Bride

“We’ll never survive!”
“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

11

The Princess Bride

“Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

12

The Princess Bride

“Love is many things none of them logical.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

13

The Princess Bride

“True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

14

The Princess Bride

“Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

15

The Princess Bride

“Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

16

The Princess Bride

“Who are you?”
“No one of consequence.”
“I must know.”
“Get used to disappointment.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

17

The Princess Bride

“I am your Prince and you will marry me,” Humperdinck said.
Buttercup whispered, “I am your servant and I refuse.”
“I am you Prince and you cannot refuse.”
“I am your loyal servant and I just did.”
“Refusal means death.”
“Kill me then.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

18

The Princess Bride

“He held up a book then. “I’m going to read it to you for relax.”
“Does it have any sports in it?”
“Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True Love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest Ladies. Snakes. Spiders… Pain. Death. Brave men. Cowardly men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles.”
“Sounds okay,” I said and I kind of closed my eyes.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

19

The Princess Bride

“You seem a decent fellow,” Inigo said. “I hate to kill you.”
You seem a decent fellow,” answered the man in black. “I hate to die.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

20

The Princess Bride

“The Queen’s Pride was his ship, and he loved her. (That was the way his sentences always went: It is raining today and I love you. My cold is better and I love you. Say hello to Horse and I love you. Like that.)” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

21

The Princess Bride

“I’ve been saying it so long to you, you just wouldn’t listen. Every time you said ‘Farm Boy do this’ you thought I was answering ‘As you wish’ but that’s only because you were hearing wrong. ‘I love you’ was what it was, but you never heard.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

22

The Princess Bride

“As you wish…” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

23

The Princess Bride

“I’ll tell you the truth and its up to you to live with it.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

24

The Princess Bride

“you were already more beautiful than anything I dared to dream. In our years apart, my imaginings did their best to improve on you perfection. At night, your face was forever behind my eyes. And now I see that that vision who kept me company in my loneliness was a hag compared to the beauty now before me.” –Westley

Enough about my beauty.” Buttercup said. “Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I’ve got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

25

The Princess Bride

“Now what happens?” asked the man in black.
“We face each other as God intended,” Fezzik said. “No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.”
“You mean you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword and we’ll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

26

The Princess Bride

“Why do you wear a mask and hood?”
I think everybody will in the near future,” was the man in black’s reply. “They’re terribly comfortable.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

27

The Princess Bride

“This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

28

The Princess Bride

“There have been five great kisses since 1642 B.C…(before then couples hooked thumbs.) And the precise rating of kisses is a terribly difficult thing, often leading to great controversy…. Well, this one left them all behind.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

29

The Princess Bride

“No more rhymes now I mean it!”

“Anybody want a peanut?”

“AAHH!” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

30

The Princess Bride

“Westley: This is true love — you think this happens every day?” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

31

The Princess Bride

“And that’s when she put her book down. And looked at me. And said it: “Life isn’t fair, Bill. we tell our children that it is, but it’s a terrible thing to do. It’s not only a lie, it’s a cruel lie. Life is not fair, and it never has been, and it’s never going to be.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

32

The Princess Bride

“Fool!” cried the hunchback. “You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is ‘Never get involved in a land war in Asia,’ but only slightly less well known is this: ‘Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

33

The Princess Bride

“Have fun storming the castle!” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

34

The Princess Bride

“You think this is a trap then?” the Count asked.
“I always think everything is a trap until proven otherwise,” the Prince answered. “Which is why I’m still alive.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

35

The Princess Bride

“You are trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen, and I think it quite ungentlemanly.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

36

The Princess Bride

“I could give you my word as a Spaniard,” Inigo said.
“No good,” the man in black replied. “I’ve known too many Spaniards.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

37

The Princess Bride

“People don’t remember me. Really. It’s not a paranoid thing; I just have this habit of slipping through memories. It doesn’t bother me all that much, except I guess that’s a lie; it does. For some reason, I test very high on forgettability.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

38

The Princess Bride

“Buttercup’s mother whirled on him. ‘Did you forget to pay your taxes?’ (This was after taxes. But everything is after taxes. Taxes were here even before stew.)” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

39

The Princess Bride

“She loves you,” the Prince cried. “She loves you still and you love her, so think of that–think of this too: in all this world, you might have been happy, genuinely happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, not really, no matter what the storybooks say, but you could have had it, and so, I would think, no one will ever suffer a loss as great as you.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

40

The Princess Bride

“The enemy is always in the mind.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

41

The Princess Bride

“Liar! Liar!” shrieked suddenly from the now open trap door.
Miracle Max whirled. “Back, Witch–” he commanded.
“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife–” she was advancing on him now, an ancient tiny fury–“and after what you’ve just done I don’t think I want to be that any more–” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

42

The Princess Bride

“I’m going to tell you something once and then whether you die is strictly up to you,” Westley said, lying pleasantly on the bed. “What I’m going to tell you is this: drop your sword, and if you do, then I will leave with this baggage here”—he glanced at Buttercup—”and you will be tied up but not fatally, and will be free to go about your business. And if you choose to fight, well, then, we will not both leave alive.”

You are only alive now because you said ‘to the pain.’ I want that phrase explained.”

My pleasure. To the pain means this: if we duel and you win, death for me. If we duel and I win, life for you. But life on my terms. The first thing you lose will be your feet. Below the ankle. You will have stumps available to use within six months. Then your hands, at the wrists. They heal somewhat quicker. Five months is a fair average. Next your nose. No smell of dawn for you. Followed by your tongue. Deeply cut away. Not even a stump left. And then your left eye—”

And then my right eye, and then my ears, and shall we get on with it?” the Prince said.

Wrong!” Westley’s voice rang across the room. “Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child shall be yours to cherish—every babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every woman that cries ‘Dear God, what is that thing?’ will reverberate forever with your perfect ears. That is what ‘to the pain’ means. It means that I leave you in anguish, in humiliation, in freakish misery until you can stand it no more; so there you have it, pig, there you know, you miserable vomitous mass, and I say this now, and live or die, it’s up to you: Drop your sword!”

The sword crashed to the floor.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

43

The Princess Bride

“I must be overtired’, Buttercup managed. ‘The excitement and all.’
‘Rest then’, her mother cautioned. ‘Terrible things can happen when you’re overtired. I was overtired the night your father proposed.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

44

The Princess Bride

“Sonny, don’t you tell me what’s worthwhile–true love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. Everybody knows that.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

45

The Princess Bride

“Look. (Grown-ups skip this paragraph) I’m not about to tell you this book has a tragic ending. I already said in the very first line how it was my favorite in all the world. But there’s a lot of bad stuff coming. ” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

46

The Princess Bride

“I must court her now,’ said the Prince. ‘Leave us alone for a minute.’ He rode the white expertly down the hill.
Buttercup had never seen such a giant beast. Or such a rider.
‘I am your Prince and you will marry me,’ Humperdinck said.
Buttercup whispered, ‘I am your servant and I refuse.’
‘I am your Prince and you cannot refuse.’
‘I am your loyal servant and I just did.’
‘Refusal means death.’
‘Kill me then.’
‘I am your Prince and I’m not that bad — how could you rather be dead than married to me?’
‘Because,’ Buttercup said, ‘marriage involves love, and that is not a pastime at which I excel. I tried once, and it went badly, and I am sworn never to love another.’
‘Love?’ said Prince Humperdinck. ‘Who mentioned love? Not me, I can tell you. Look: there must always be a male heir to the throne of Florin. That’s me. Once my father dies, there won’t be an heir, just a king. That’s me again. When that happens, I’ll marry and have children until there is a son. So you can either marry me and be the richest and most powerful woman in a thousand miles and give turkeys away at Christmas and provide me a son, or you can die in terrible pain in the very near future. Make up your own mind.’
‘I’ll never love you.’
‘I wouldn’t want it if I had it.’
‘Then by all means let us marry.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

47

The Princess Bride

“Existence was really very simple when you did what you were told.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

48

The Princess Bride

“See?” Fezzik pointed then. Far down, at the very bottom of the mountain path, the man in black could be seen running. “Inigo is beaten.”
Inconceivable!” exploded the Sicilian.
Fezzik never dared disagree with the hunchback. “I’m so stupid,” Fezzik nodded. “Inigo has not lost to the man in black, he has defeated him. And to prove it he has put on all the man in black’s clothes and masks and hoods and boots and gained eighty pounds.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

49

The Princess Bride

“I have stayed these years in my hovel because of you. I have taught myself languages because of you. I have made my body strong because I thought you might be pleased by a strong body. I have lived my life with only the prayer that some sudden dawn you might glance in my direction. I have not known a moment in years when the sight of you did not send my heart careening against my rib cage. I have not known a night when your visage did not accompany me to sleep. There has not been a morning when you did not flutter behind my waking eyelids.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

50

The Princess Bride

“You could concentrate much more deeply when you were alone with agony.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

51

The Princess Bride

“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.” ― William Goldman , The Princess Bride

52

The Princess Bride

“Inigo Montoya: He’s right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

53

The Princess Bride

“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

54

The Princess Bride

“I don’t like killing a girl,” the Spaniard said.
“God does it all the time; if it doesn’t bother Him, don’t let it worry you.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

55

The Princess Bride

“I say you are a coward and you are; I think you hunt only to reassure yourself that you are not what you are: the weakest thing to ever walk the Earth. He will come for me and then we will be gone, and you will be helpless for all your hunting, because Westley and I are joined by the bond of love and you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

56

The Princess Bride

“And what have I done?”
What? WHAT?…You’ve stolen them.”
With that, Cornelia fled, but Buttercup understood; she knew who “them” was.
The boys.
The beef-witted featherbrained rattledskulled clodpated dim-domed noodle-noggined sapheaded lunk-knobbed BOYS.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

57

The Princess Bride

“To the pain means this: if we duel and you win, death for me. If we duel and I win, life for you. But life on my terms. The first thing you lose will be your feet. Below the ankle. You will have stumps available to use within six months. Then your hands, at the wrists. They heal somewhat quicker. Five months is a fair average. Next your nose. No smell of dawn for you. Followed by your tongue. Deeply cut away. Not even a stump left. And then your left eye—”

And then my right eye, and then my ears, and shall we get on with it?” the Prince said.

Wrong!” Westley’s voice rang across the room. “Your ears you keep, so that every shriek of every child shall be yours to cherish—every babe that weeps in fear at your approach, every woman that cries ‘Dear God, what is that thing?’ will reverberate forever with your perfect ears.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

58

The Princess Bride

“Everyone had told her, since she became a princess-in-training, that she was very likely the most beautiful woman in the world. Now she was going to be the richest and the most powerful as well.
Don’t expect too much from life, Buttercup told herself as she rode along. Learn to be satisfied with what you have.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

59

The Princess Bride

“It was only when the giant got halfway down the incline that he suddenly, happily, burst into flame and continued his trip saying, “NO SURVIVORS, NO SURVIVORS!” in a manner that could only indicate deadly sincerity.

It was seeing him happily burning and advancing that startled the Brute Squad to screaming. And once that happened, why, everybody panicked and ran…” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

60

The Princess Bride

“Flailing and thrashing, Buttercup wept and tossed and paced and wept some more, and there have been three great cases of jealousy since David of Galilee was first afflicted with the emotion when he could no longer stand the fact that his neighbor Saul’s cactus outshone his own. (Originally, jealousy pertained solely to plants, other people’s cactus or ginkgoes, or, later, when there was grass, grass, which is why, even to this day, we say that someone is green with jealousy.) Buttercup’s case rated a close fourth on the all-time list.
It was a very long and very green night.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

61

The Princess Bride

“I just know once you’re over your emotional outbursts, you’ll come up with-‘
I mean if we even had a wheelbarrow, that would be something,’ Westley said.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

62

The Princess Bride

“Westley and I are joined by the bond of love and you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

63

The Princess Bride

“The boys. The beef-witted featherbrained rattleskulled clod-pated dim-domed noodle-noggined sapheaded lunk-knobbed boys. How could anybody accuse her of stealing them? Why would anybody want them anyway?” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

64

The Princess Bride

“Westly, Westly, Westly, Westly, Westly,–darling Westly, adored Westly, sweet perfect Westly, whisper that I have a chance to win your love.” And with that, she dared the bravest thing she’d ever done: she looked right into his eyes.
He closed the door in her face.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

65

The Princess Bride

“Well, I’m an abridger, so I’m entitled to a few ideas of my own. Did they make it? Was the pirate ship there? You can answer it for yourself, but, for me, I say yes it was. And yes, they got away. And got their strength back and had lots of adventures and more than their share of laughs.
But that doesn’t mean I think they had a happy ending, either. Because, in my opinion, anyway, they squabbled a lot, and Buttercup lost her looks eventually, and one day Fezzik lost a fight and some hot-shot kid whipped Inigo with a sword and Westley was never able to really sleep sound because of Humperdinck maybe being on the trail.
I’m not trying to make this a downer, understand. I mean, I really do think that love is the best thing in the world, next to cough drops. But I also have to say, for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

66

The Princess Bride

“Inconceivable!” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

67

The Princess Bride

“While he was watching the ships, Buttercup shoved him with all her strength remaining. Down went the man in black. “You can die too for all I care,” she said, and then she turned away.
Words followed her. Whispered from afar, weak and warm and familiar. “As…you…wish…” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

68

The Princess Bride

“I love you. Okay? Want it louder? I LOVE YOU. Spell it out, should I? I ell-oh-vee-ee why-oh-you. Want it backward? You love I.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

69

The Princess Bride

“Enough about my beauty,” Buttercup said. “Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I’ve got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

70

The Princess Bride

“Tr…ooooo…luv…’
Fezzik grabbed onto Inigo in panic and they both pivoted, staring at the man in black, who was silent again. ‘”True love,” he said,’ Inigo cried. ‘You heard him – true love is what he wants to come back for. That’s certainly worthwhile.’
‘Sonny, don’t you tell me what’s worthwhile – true love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. Everybody knows that.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

71

The Princess Bride

“Inigo was in despair.

Hard to find on the map (this was after maps) not because cartographers didn’t know of its existence, but because when they visited to measure its precise dimensions, they became so depressed they began to drink and question everything, most notably why anyone would want to be something as stupid as a cartographer. It required constant travel, no one ever knew your name, and, most of all, why bother? There grew up, then, a gentleman’s agreement among mapmakers of the period to keep the place as secret as possible, lest tourists flock there and die. (Should you insist on paying a visit, it’s closer to the Baltic States than most places.)” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

72

The Princess Bride

“I mean if we even had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

73

The Princess Bride

“Buttercup’s mother hesitated, then put her stew spoon down. (This was after stew, but so is everything. When the first man first clambered from the slime and made his first home on land, what he had for supper that first night was stew.)” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

74

The Princess Bride

“When was the last time you read a book? The truth now. And picture books don’t count-I mean something with print in it.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

75

The Princess Bride

“Inside and out, Westley’s world was ripping apart and he could do nothing but crack along with it.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

76

The Princess Bride

“Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

77

The Princess Bride

“The hollowness was in his arms and the world was snowing.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

78

The Princess Bride

“I guess the most amazing thing about crying though is that when you’re in it, you think it’ll go on forever but it never really lasts half what you think. Not in terms of real time. In terms of real emotions, it’s worse than you think, but not by the clock.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

79

The Princess Bride

“The tears that kept Buttercup company the remainder of the day were not at all like those that had blinded her into the tree trunk. Those were noisy and hot; they pulsed. These were silent and steady and all they did was remind her that she wasn’t good enough. She was seventeen, and every male she’d ever known had crumbled at her feet and it meant nothing. The one time it really mattered, she wasn’t good enough.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

80

The Princess Bride

“Let’s look on the bright side: we’re having an adventure, Fezzik, and most people live and die without being as lucky as we are.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

81

The Princess Bride

“Westley closed his eyes. There was pain coming and he had to be ready for it. He had to prepare his brain, he had to get his mind controlled and safe from their efforts, so that they could not break him. He would not let them break him. He would hold together against anything and all. If only they gave him sufficient time to make ready, he knew he could defeat pain. It turned out they gave him sufficient time (it was months before the Machine was ready).

But they broke him anyway.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

82

The Princess Bride

“He had risked his life and now it was walking away from him, hand-in-hand with a Ruffian prince.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

83

The Princess Bride

“He was the mighty Fezzik, lover of rhymes, and you did not give up, no matter what.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

84

The Princess Bride

“I can’t keep my head above water one minute to the next: it’s not just the parties and the goo-gooing with what’s-her-name, I’ve got the decide how long the Five Hundredth Anniversary Parade is going to be and where does it start and when does it start and which nobleman gets to march in front of which other nobleman so that everyone’s still speaking to me at the end of it, plus I’ve got a wife to murder and a country to frame for it, plus I’ve got to get the war going once that’s all happened, and all this is stuff I’ve got to do myself. Here’s what it all comes down to: I’m just swamped, Ty.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

85

The Princess Bride

“I mean, I really do think that love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. But I also have to say, for the umpty-umpth time, that life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

86

The Princess Bride

“Dummy, dummy, go out now and fill your tummy.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

87

The Princess Bride

“The Duchess set about studying Annette and shortly found her adversary’s tragic flaw.
Chocolate.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

88

The Princess Bride

“But just as he knew the sun was obliged to rise each morning in the east, no matter how much a western arisal might have pleased it, so he knew that Buttercup was obliged to spend her love on him. Gold was inviting, and so was royalty, but they could not match the fever in his heart, and sooner or later she would have to catch it. She had less choice than the sun.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

89

The Princess Bride

“I’m not witch. I’m your wife.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

90

The Princess Bride

“The Countess was considerably younger than her husband. All of her clothes came from Paris (this was after Paris) and she had superb taste. (This was after taste too, but only just. And since it was such a new thing, and since the Countess was the only lady in all Florin to posses it, is it any wonder she was the leading hostess in the land?)” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

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Top 100+ Princess Bride Quotes by William Goldman

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